Children: A Dream. A Gift. A Challenge.

As parents, we have three things in common: a gift, a dream, and a challenge. The gift is our children. The dream is to send our children into the world as happy adults with confident and competent life skills. The challenge is to raise our children in a manner that is fulfilling for us and healthy and respectful to our children. As a family counselor and coach, I collaborate with parents who are in many different stages of family life (married, divorced, single) in making changes that come from their values and spirituality.

Parents Do Know their Children Best

Parents come to me with varying needs and questions. Knowing that some parents just want good coaching, I always come from the belief that parents know what is best for their child. They just need ideas and support to implement their strategies. Sometimes the support takes the form of sharing my experience of working through school challenges: friendships, lack of motivation, or inability to focus on homework. At other times, it's discerning the steps necessary to help the child become a team player at home when they are resisting responsibility for chores. A constant problem for parents is finding ways to get their child to sleep at night.

Does What My Parents Taught Me Work?

In some situations, I must delve into the personal history of parents who might be carrying their own experience of ineffective parenting from their parents. If we can discover together what makes the parent reactive to their child's behavior, half the battle is won. Children do seem to pick up parental emotions that interfere with setting limits with a child.

Consultations

Sometimes my work with families requires that I make a home visit. Observing a parenting problem first-hand may be the best road to a quick solution. Coming to a family's home turf helps me observe interactions between parents and children that they miss. While it may be true that my presence encourages children and parents to be on their best behavior, the basic elements of family communication are apparent. I can fine-tune the way limits, expectations, and motivation are implemented. Sometimes I visit schools and consult with a teacher if a child is having behavioral problems in the educational setting.

It's Working!

"It's working!" is music to my ears. At the end of coaching or counseling session, these words bring me joy. Parents smiling as they describe how their children are sleeping peacefully or how their adolescent son looks forward to describing his day at school are signs that parents are experiencing success in interactions with their children.