Women's Transitions

Over the last year I have heard women who are seasoned in their career—successful in their competencies—saying, “Something is missing for me!”  They can’t directly articulate the present source of their anxiety or depression.  They often say things like “I don’t know how to say 'no' to my colleagues or spouse." Or, they are puzzled about how to free up their time to give space to think about their own aspirations for the future.

They aren’t sure what it would be like to own their vulnerability with the important people in their life.  They worry that vulnerability would create distance in their relationships or make them appear weak.  Our cultural norm has spoken to the importance of showing up as a strong woman, not recognizing that what makes a strong woman is her ability to acknowledge her vulnerabilities.

Often times it can be a first for women to talk about their fears, or the stories in their head.  There is a relief that comes for women when they can freely address, in the safety of my office, the negative internal statements that continually recycle in their mind.  This coming to terms with internal dialogue opens the way for the real discussions about the power of vulnerability as emphasized by Brene Brown.  She addresses this idea quite poignantly, referencing Theodore Roosevelt’s speech delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who err, who comes short again and again., because there is no effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deeds;; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. . . .

As women learn how to step into their vulnerability, they begin to get clarity about the blocks that have prevented them from stepping into their current challenges with confidence.  It’s as if a door has been opened for them to recognize how their internal “nudges” might lead them into new opportunities in their life.  

I find great satisfaction in guiding women toward this newfound path for themselves. It’s part of what I call “the work of Spirit.”  And, as always, I personally get enlightened by their journey.